A technique I picked up to use for icebreakers, called User Manual, is a pretty great way to get to know people, even if you are meeting them in a small group setting for the first time. I really love running this exercise at the beginning of training events to allow participants to get to know each other and set the class up for collaboration and later success.
I am going to jot down a few of my typical responses to some of my favorite User Manual questions.
Focused on YOU:
What are some honest, unfiltered things about you?
I try not to take things too seriously, but I take myself too seriously sometimes. I am a total D (dominant) on the DiSC model, and step in too often to lead, particularly in novel, small group situations. But I am trying to step back and make space for others. Coaching and facilitation skills are helping with that.
What qualities do you particularly value in people who work with you?
openness, hard work, inviting and receiving feedback well, desire to learn, drive for collaboration, active listening
What drives you nuts?
not following through on commitments, not being present or open and honest in a conversation
What are your quirks?
overzealous at times, lack patience at times, and a bit OCD, particularly about process
What are some things that people might misunderstand about you that you should clarify? (optional)
That my self-confidence is unbounded. While I do have a quite a lot of it, I am riddled with self-doubt like most other people. The trick is I am always willing to try new things, and I accept the likely outcome of failure with humility and I look forward to the inevitable growth.
How can people earn an extra gold star with you? (optional)
Asking about my family. They are the most important part of my being. It is common in US culture to ask about what you do for work, but I prefer to get to know someone and their family first.
Focused on how YOU are with OTHERS:
What’s the best way to communicate with you?
Directly, honestly, and face to face. Or a quick chat on a persistent chat platform, knowing that I will push for face to face or video after about four exchanges
What’s the best way to convince you to do something?
Tell me why, and tell me how I can contribute.
How do you like to get feedback?
Immediately, in the moment if possible. And then ask for my thoughts so that I am sure I heard it from your perspective correctly.
How do you like to give feedback? (optional)
Same as above. But I like to ask permission first to make sure that I can proceed. And then if it seems the other person is not reacting with grace, I like to point out that they said they were open to feedback at the outset.
Again with permission. And I like to ask what others have been working on lately, and how it is going.
Until the Next Iteration . . .
Jason