I wanted to provide some thoughts on how to coach through conflict in a collaborative environment.

The Agile Coaching Institute (ACI) provides a few tips during their training courses on how to work with teams in conflict:

• Take the Right View
  • Conflicting positions are important voices of that system
  • conflict is a desire for change, not something to be managed or tolerated
• Focus on the Container
  • educate that conflict is normal and expected
  • create common language about conflict (like the conflict dynamics model)
  • increase positivity
  • decrease toxic communication
  • establish conflict protocols
• Be in the Right Role
  • be a conflict facilitator, not a mediator or resolver
  • manage your own triggers and allegiances
  • practice seeing everyone as right (partially)
• Have the Right Process
  • use Conflict Dynamics Model to help the team move toward constructive Behaviors
  • use Conflict Protocols to keep positivity high and toxic communication low
  • use deep democracy practices: constellation, roman vote, fist of five, etc.
  • nurture a healthy and genuine respect for different perspectives

ACI uses the Conflict Dynamics Model which essentially breaks conflict behaviors into four quadrants. It identifies behaviors as active or passive, and constructive or destructive. I find this tool to be extremely useful when coaching teams to understand their behaviors, and how to recognize constructive and destructive actions.  Once you introduce the idea of conflict as a natural and–when leveraged well–very positive outcome of human interaction, you can have discussions around how to manage it.  This gives teams a model to use when conflict arises.

Another interesting way to frame conversations around conflict is using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) developed by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann.

This provides another useful way of examining how cooperative or assertive you are being along a spectrum, and what the outcome might be. By taking a passive (unassertive, uncooperative) approach, you avoid conflict and the problem remains. However, by collaborating (cooperative, assertive) you can “expand the range of possible outcomes.” In this way, as Stephen Covey encourages us in Habit #4 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People , we can  “Think Win/Win.”

Hopefully these two models can give you some ideas of how coach through conflict.

Until the Next Iteration . . .

Jason